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Please choose Forgiveness

For years, my personal mantra was “Throughout all of time, I forgive myself and others for pain that was caused both intentionally and unintentionally.”

Even now, when I am angry or holding a grudge, or have hurt feelings because of words spoken to me, or some injustice has occurred, I must remember my mantra and the importance of forgiveness.

When I notice my inner language is degrading myself for a mistake I’ve made and my inner thoughts are going over and over again my stupidity, my carelessness in the words I chose, the idiocy of my actions, I have to remember forgiveness. I must remember I was doing the best I could with where I was in the moment. Forgiving myself is the hardest thing to do and the most important.

During a past life meditation, I found myself as a young woman reputed by the village I lived in, shamed by those I loved and not worthy of living among them. I was stripped, whipped and left for dead in the wilderness for nothing other than being who I was. I know this happened because I have suffered horrendous, painful inner sadness and depression for most of my life. When I came out of this meditation, I knew I had to forgive the people who, out of their own ignorance, did that to me and thus forgiveness throughout all time and space became my mantra. I do not know who those people were, what time nor place it was nor the circumstances. I only know I need to forgive them and what happened.

I have forgiven, and now my heart is lighter, my lifetime of emotional pain and depression have dispersed.

The anger, emotional pain, and inner turmoil that I experienced most of my life was rooted in my own inner thought language. I was not angry or hurt for the reasons I thought I was. Often, the actions of someone else that caused me pain had nothing to do with me. Their actions were all about them.

As humans, we take so much personally and it’s not about us at all. Now that I have learned to take very little personally, I walk with a lighter step. My inner self feels little pain. I can awake with love, compassion, happiness, and joy in my heart.

It hasn’t been easy for me to forgive (and still is not easy) all that has happened to me throughout all time and space and in this lifetime. I can’t imagine it would easy for anyone to forgive all the pain filled life circumstances that have happened throughout the millennia of our lives. Yet, it’s what all humans must do because until you have and live with true forgiveness in your heart, you cannot know nor experience the true Infinite Love that is All.

Infinite Love is all that matters. The rest is just all about being human.

Please choose forgiveness. And please choose Love.

Spirituality, depression, outdoor time and Light Workers

I need to be outdoors surrounded by nature. When I am outdoors, my soul connects to the soul of the planet, which connects to the soul of humanity which connects to the soul of the Universe.

Occasionally, I will find myself in a place of darkness, depression, sadness, or just out of sorts. When I am feeling this way, I quite simply just need to get outdoors. I must be in nature, and just walk or sit quietly, pause, disconnect and listen. This brings me back to where the part of me that is just Love is.

My experience, friendships and work have shown me that those who suffer depression are often those who operate at a soul level. Often, these people become Light Workers.

Those of you who are Light Workers and you find yourself feeling in a place of darkness, sadness or out of sorts, please honor these feelings and this part of yourself.

Know that you operate from a place of love. Know that this place you operate from is the right and good place. Pay attention to this part of you when she or he is calling to you. Pay attention to this part of you that needs to be nurtured and returned to your place of Love. Go outdoors, disconnect, listen, and then reconnect to Love.

As you continue to operate from a soul level, you will become stronger. As you continue to operate from a soul level, no matter how difficult it is, you will become a light and a beacon for others. All of humanity will see it. All of humanity will be drawn to it. All of humanity needs it because most of humanity operates in a dark place.

It’s hard. Be strong. Continue to be a light. It is what Light Workers are called to do.

Light Workers operate and live day in and day out at a soul level. We operate with kindness, gentleness and forgiveness. This is not the place where most people operate at. Please be a light.

Let Love be your guide.

When you are treated unfairly – let Love be your guide

Remember, it’s not about you.  It’s not about your feelings, your hurt.  It’s about love.  It’s about life.

Do not let yourself be bullied.  Do not allow wrong doings.  Defend yourself.  Stick up for yourself.  State your feelings.  Let the other know how they have hurt you.  And then let Love be your guide.

Love lets go.  Love forgives.  Love tries to understand.

It’s hard.  You want to be angry.  You want revenge.  You want the other to know, specifically how they wronged you.  You plot ways to get even .  And then, you must remember that Love must be your guide.

When someone has defiantly wronged you, they have a lesson to learn.  They have a karmic balance, or perhaps imbalance that has been placed.  They have an issue that they must sort out and resolve, be it in this lifetime, or in the next.

Often it’s difficult.  Remember, let Love be your guide.

On October 30, 2018, I ventured off alone to explore and experience an orphanage in Hyderabad, India, an Elephant Sanctuary in Chiang Mai, Thailand, explore the Phi Phi Islands also in Thailand and to tour the ruins of 1200 year old shrines located in Angkor Wat, Cambodia.

As I kissed my husband good bye and nervously navigated the airport security line, I remembered the words my youngest son had texted to me earlier; “please be safe as you travel. You’ll be experiencing essentially a new world so keep your head about you.”

As I was thinking about his words, I passed through the security checkpoint and was almost to my gate when I realized I only had my carry on suitcase and I had left my backpack, scarf and sweater back at the security gate.  Well, I thought, so much for keeping my head about me.

I went back to the security gate and there were my belongings just waiting for me to retrieve them. I picked them up, smiled and  gratefully remembered to be gentle on myself as I dealt with my nerves, my anxiousness, my forgetfulness, my lack of being present in the moment.

From this moment forward, and as I always do, I re-reminded myself to be recommitted to being in the moment and not allowing what I call inner thought noise to take over the presence of where I am.  I recommitted to the simple, yet profoundly difficult practice of being consciously conscious.

I did this by focusing on my breathing and keeping my awareness of what’s going on around me.  Mostly, I kept my inner thoughts from distracting me.  I didn’t think about how anxious I was.  I didn’t allow myself to be worried about landing at 3am on the other side of the world in a foreign country, a busy city, a lone woman and needing to get safely to my hotel.  I simply stayed in the present.

I focused on my breathing.  I calmed my body.  I focused on my breath.  I resisted my inner chatter.  I focused on my inhale, exhale.  I moved calmly, slowly, decisively.  I focused on the feel of the air from my nose on the upper part of my lip.  I repeated, and repeated, and repeated.

This is how I stay in the present.  Sounds so ridiculously simple and yet, is often so difficult to do.

Well, how did I do with my travels?  In Qatar, I navigated my layover, passport control and airline transfer with no difficulties.  At my final destination in India I retrieved my luggage, made it through passport control and found the driver of my hotel shuttle based on the sign that read “Mr. MaryJo VanWingerden”.  The at first somewhat perplexed driver safely navigated the deserted, dark streets of Hyderabad (as deserted as streets in a big city can get anyway) and delivered me safely to my hotel.

Once in my room, I rejoiced in the moment!  Re-remembering the joys of simply being in the present.

 

 

Miracles occur daily. Some are more evident than others.

Everyone has a sacred number. A sacred number is a number that just consistently “pops up” throughout your life.

For me, my sacred number is 43. The address to the home I grew up in and my parents lived at for 52 years was “943”. On July 24th, at 4:43pm, I noticed a text from my husband and my phone was charged at 43% and he had sent the text at 3:43. On March 21, at exactly 9:43pm, my son and his future bride pulled out of my driveway and went on their way to their new home. On June 10, the day I received my Ministerial Ordination, my erroneous hotel bill read $43.09. These types of my sacred number pop up occurrences go on and on and on and on and on ….…

According to many sources*  I have learned that the number “43” generally means the Angels and Ascended Masters are encouraging me and my spiritually based career. To me, seeing a series of 43’s in a day is just another little miracle that occurs daily in my life.

Here’s what happened to me on December 13, 2017

Background: I had been dealing with an extremely painful sciatica nerve issue for quite a few months. I had been seeing specialists, chiropractors, getting steroid shots, doing everything possible to manage this horrendously painful condition. While doing my prescribed morning stretches, I was in so much pain, I just finally gave up, laid down and sobbed. Between my extensive tears and gasps for air, I verbally, quite loudly called on Spirit and the Angels and I demanded to know: “Where were they?” “Why weren’t they helping me with this?” “Wasn’t I doing all that I was supposed to be doing?” “Why is my body failing me like this?”

After my good cry, I pulled myself together and decided to take my dog to the local park for a walk. The first license plate that went by me on my right had a “43” in it. On my left, another car’s license plate drove past me with a “943” in it. At the entrance to the park, the car stopped in front of me had a “43” in it and a bumper sticker that read “Be patient with me, I am only human.” My dog and I enjoyed our walk, I got back into my car, turned on the ignition and my clock read “8:43”. When I pulled back into my neighborhood, a car whizzed by me and there was an “843” in it. The car not too far after that had a license plate that read “god wrld”. OK, I was starting to feel better. My day continued: While getting ready to go out, I was singing along to Karen Drucker’s song, and the line, “I am love” came on and I so happened to look at my clock and the time read “10:43”. A little later, while driving to an appointment, the first car to whiz past me had a license plate that read nothing more than “4343”. After my appointment, I made a return and my receipt read “$43.49”. While getting off the expressway ramp, the slow car in front me license’s plate started with the numbers “943.” After dinner, I noticed that my Words With Friends score was 343 points.

Needless to say, by the end of the day I knew where the Angels and Spirit were. They were right by my side encouraging me, my health, my life, my career, my joy.

Was all this a coincidence? Was all of this just because I look for the number 43 and it proves you will find what you look for? Possibly.

For me, I prefer to view it is as the miracle of Spirit and the Angels working in my life giving me proof that yes, They are here every moment of every day tenderly massaging energy so that I, as a human can perceive their presence. I am human. My ability to perceive is confined to my eyes, ears, nose and sense of touch. Every day, Spirit, Angels, God, Love, Divine Source, whatever you want to call it, makes miracles happen. Some miracles on some days are just more evident than others.

There are so many occurrences of “43’s” in my life, I’ve almost stopped tracking them. Whenever I notice them, it always makes my smile because I know Spirit and the Angels are having fun and working with and for me.
Thank you, Divine Source of Love, for giving me miracles every day! Oh, and thanks, because ever since my day of many 43’s, my sciatica nerve pain issue is mild, manageable and often not even an issue. A true miracle!

**Research “Sacred numbers” and you will find many varied resources utilizing sacred texts, geometric patterns and other such means to determine numbers, patterns and their meanings. In my studies, I have seen consistent meanings throughout and within all of these types of resources.

Judgement and Roses

As I look out my window and see the multiple colors of the Fall leaves, I remember that winter is coming, and I have gardening chores that need to be done to secure the lives and well being of my annual and perennial plants.

This leads me to my overgrown and large Carpet Rose.  She is a beautiful plant that provides me with an abundance of scented flowers, greenery and thorns.  Large, sharp thorns.

Every few years, I must put on my hardy leather gloves, trim her overgrown branches and “bushy” parts off of her so that she will bloom beautifully in the spring and through following summer seasons.  It’s kind of like I give this gigantic, overgrown plant a major haircut.

The difference between a flower and a weed is judgement.  This amazing, majestic plant provides beauty for my eyes and joy to my sense of smell.  It also gives me cuts and painful punctures to my skin.

Should I judge her thorns as a nuisance or as a safe haven for the birds that take sanctuary in this large plant’s majestic, strong, loving and unconditional arms?  As I trim, I often find nests that have housed tiny eggs that have matured, hatched and grown to be the singing birds that provide music to my sense of hearing.

This reminds me to judge all with love.  Judge all with optimism.  Judge with the totality of all of Mother Earth’s Creature’s needs in mind.  Judge knowing that there is room for all, including thorns.

Rise up good people. Rise.

I am troubled with the turbulent actions of our society today. I hear media stories of aggressive and often violent demonstrations of people voicing their rights. I am disheartened by the blatant racism that I observe in the actions of many people whom I pass on the streets and encounter in my day to day activities. And, I wonder, what can I do?

I prayed, I meditated, I asked Spirit this question and here is Spirit’s answer:

Good people, rise up.

Rise up and ground yourselves in Me. I am Love. I am peace. I am in you.

May you rise up and let Love’s will, be your will.

May your words rise up and be words of Love.

May your thoughts, your visions, your energy rise up and live beyond the confinements of humankind’s hatred, ignorance and anger.

May Love’s Light which is divine, pure and true pour into and live within your soul.

May this Love’s Light radiate in you for others to know so that they can heal, feel peace and journey on their own paths to discover and have a relationship with the Infinite Creator of all that is Love.

Rise up good people. Rise. Live not for yourselves, but for the infinite and pure Love Divine Creator.

Rise up good people. Rise.

And, so once again, I am reminded that I cannot allow myself to be troubled. I cannot be disheartened by the actions of others. All I can do is continue to be a loving, peaceful and kind presence in this time and place of turmoil.

And with Divine Spirit’s presence, peace and angels, I know I can rise up, do good and be good.

Thank you Spirit. Thank you Angels. Thank you.